MID YEAR STORY!

My story

~New Month

~New Beginning

~New Mindset

~New Focus

~New Start

~New Intentions

~New Results

This is exactly what I write in my diary every month,in a way the New intentions and beginnings always come to light in a way and sometimes it doesn’t.

You know the way things or people just fly away passed you without you even realizing it? Well… That’s how fast I feel this year is passing by. I feel like this year has flown right through my eyes. I must say though that my year began with a bang! I did 50% of what I had envisioned to do. I experienced and earned what I wanted to. But around April,things just started falling apart,lost a few of my loved ones, that was hard on me. It still is. Seeing the people that I love and care about hurt makes me hurt 10times as much. At some point, I even questioned God on so many things, from my past experiences with loss and NOW. Being the kind of individual that I am,I shut off completely a part of my world to deal with ‘demons’ and pain.

But hey,I am slowly getting to my happy place. I feel it already. Am getting back to work and doing the things that I love,like this for instance, writing. I believe I’ll slowly get there. And you will too my dearest reader.

You know when going through stuff be it financial, emotional or any other thing,you always feel like you are trapped in your own world and pain too. For some reason,my

I have made a decision then to repeat the following despite or in spite of anything I go through for the remaining part of the year.

~His Presence is visible in the first flowers of spring and in the glorious leaves of fall.

~His voice is heard in the symphony of worship and in the giggle of a Baby.

~He is found comforting widows and brokenhearted parents.

~He is there in the humdrum of daily life when the dishes are piled up high,the laundry is mountainous and the bills never end.

~He is there in unending days of loneliness and in the piles of tissue by your bed.

I am looking to have an amazing rest of the year. I hope you do too!

Love,

JJ

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FATHER’S DAY!

Well… Father’s Day is here. Yeey! Not even I with all my writings and words would be able to completely explain what Father’s mean to us. Father’s are the heads of our homes. They are the Kings of our ‘Palaces’ and to all the hopeless romantics,the King to their hearts and souls.

Dad’s nurture,Dad’s protect,Dad’s give hugs,Dad’s wipe tears. Dad’s are their Daughter’s safe place in life. Dad’s are their Son’s friend Dad’s guide, Dad’s provide and above all,Dad’s just LOVE.

So a big S/O to all the PRESENT Dads,to every man out here that has chosen to love a child,fathered by another man, like your OWN;whether by choice or circumstantial – loving a child whose seed you didn’t plant but loving them with your heart. Giving them a chance to love and to be loved by you! There’s not many of you out here. But bless you! Bless your soul,the work of your hands and everything you do.

Happy Daddy’s day to every Father who has chosen to be a ‘Father Figure’ to a child hopefully waiting for it to be their turn to be called ‘Dad.’ Or to men struggling with infertility issues,even though it may not be a widely talked about topic. Even though you nest may still be empty,You are a Father too! So… Happy Father’s Day even to the Dad’s who are resting with the angels, we love you(I love you Dad) and we miss you!(I miss mine crazy).Keep watching over us!

Happy Father’s Day to all the SUPER AMAZING Dads. You ALL matter to us. We honor you all.

Here’s my experience of having my Dad around. I sincerely just want to pour my heart out on what this day means to me and what it doesn’t. Wow! A Father! Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I called someone Daddy. I lost my Dad at a tender age,6 going to 7years. At the time, I was so young, I don’t think the pain was that awakening as it is NOW. It has been over a decade,13years to be exact! But still… There’s that void of a ‘missing parent’,my Daddy! As I continue to ‘age’,I realize having a Dad or a ‘Father Figure’ is so important because there are conversations I would want to have with my Dad,there are moments I would like to share with my Dad. But unfortunately, that is not even close to possible in my case and so many other cases. In a big and small way, I feel like some of my DEEPEST FEARS(story for another day!)have in a way been contributed to with my Dad’s loss. Short story:Recently,an uncle of mine passed on and his passing brought in so many memories,as I sat there looking at my aunt and my little cousins,I couldn’t help but ask,Why? Truth is,when you are as young as I was,that kind of loss will not affect you as much,or if it will,it will be through your parent. I’ve most definitely had moments and situations in my life especially emotionally that got me overwhelmed and thinking,’I wish Dad was here.’ That’s my DAD STORY/FATHER’S DAY STORY. What’s yours,kindly share. But hey, let me not ruin you,my reader’s Father’s Day!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Proverbs 31:29,”Many Women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

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Happy Mother’s Day to every Woman that has has been blessed with the fruit of the womb. You carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders. Like literally. For enduring the morning sicknesses and everything that comes along with the pregnancy,both the good and the bad. May your kids live to honor your sacrifice💕

Happy Mother’s Day to every Woman that has chosen to love a child born by another woman,whether by choice or circumstantial loving children not born of your womb,but your heart. Giving them a chance to love and be loved.

Happy Mother’s Day to every waiting woman. Every woman who has waited longingly for it to be their turn. Secretly,dealing with the struggles of infertility,negative tests,empty wombs,empty heart. Happy Mother’s Day because one day,you will carry your own. God will surely fill your heart and your arms.

Happy Mother’s Day to every woman who has had to deal with the loss of a child or pregnancy. Even though your nest may still be empty,you are a mother too.

Lots a hugs and love

JJ.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!

Proverbs 31:25,”She is Clothed with Strength and Dignity; She Can Laugh At The Days To Come.”

Just before I settled on what to write for Women’s Day,I came across a video posted by Serena Williams and that video sort of explains part of my struggles and so many women’s struggles especially if you are a woman who’s so out there,if you know what I mean. So I thought it best to start off this International Women’s Day Message[whose message this year is #PressForProgress] with what Serena Williams shared in the 0:30 video, she says,

”I have never been the right kind of Woman,over sized and overconfident,too mean if I don’t smile, too black for my tennis whites,too motivated for motherhood. But, I’m proving time and time again, There’s NO Wrong way to be a Woman.”

Head over to her twitter account to listen to the message yourself. The last statement made by Serena Williams really did convict me. It literally summed up everything I want to hear EVERYONE,at least everyone say about women. I really don’t want to go deep into talking about what that statement meant to me, that’s a writing for another day. My message on this very special day would be;

Happy International Women’s Day to all the women out here; carrying ‘everything’ on their shoulders. For being the strongest human beings the world could ever have. Happy Women’s Day to the women who strive to be the BEST versions of themselves yet. Today, I celebrate the women that I have seen go firsthand before me. I celebrate you for your courage and strength. I celebrate that you have gone through so much but yet remain so strong to pave the way for ‘US’, for ME. I celebrate my mum, grandma,aunties and friends[insert some of your people’s names here]

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This day is important to me now and I see the significance of celebrating it today more than ever because I am no longer a little girl, I am maturing to become a woman of my OWN. I appreciate womanhood now more than ever, I take in the challenges and trials and mistakes all in stride. So… Happy Women’s Day to ME!

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I celebrate every woman who is flawed in every sense of that word but is still ‘SUPERWOMAN,’ I celebrate every woman who goes hard on the grind and still has it ‘altogether’ at the home front. I salute y’all.

”Behind Every Successful Woman Is A Tribe Of Other Successful Women Who Have Her Back”- Anonymous.

2017-12-11-22-35-39-177573657757.jpgSo… HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY,To every woman who supports her fellow women[correcting, rebuking and growing together],fixing each other’s crowns instead of trying to knock the others crown off. This type of WOMAN,that type of WOMAN is most definitely MY KIND!🔥

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!

Love💜❤

JJ

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

Proverbs 31:25,”She is Clothed with Strength and Dignity; She Can Laugh At The Days To Come.”

2017-12-11-22-35-39-177573657757-e1520242107493.jpgJust before I settled on what to write for Women’s Day,I came across a video posted by Serena Williams and that video sort of explains part of my struggles and so many women’s struggles especially if you are a woman who’s so out there,if you know what I mean. So I thought it best to start off this International Women’s Day Message[whose message this year is #PressForProgress] with what Serena Williams shared in the 0:30 video, she says,

”I have never been the right kind of Woman,over sized and overconfident,too mean if I don’t smile, too black for my tennis whites,too motivated for motherhood. But, I’m proving time and time again, There’s NO Wrong way to be a Woman.”

Head over to her twitter account to listen to the message yourself. The last statement made by Serena Williams really did convict me. It literally summed up everything I want to hear EVERYONE,at least everyone say about women. I really don’t want to go deep into talking about what that statement meant to me, that’s a writing for another day. My message on this very special day would be;

Happy International Women’s Day to all the women out here; carrying ‘everything’ on their shoulders. For being the strongest human beings the world could ever have. Happy Women’s Day to the women who strive to be the BEST versions of themselves yet. Today, I celebrate the women that I have seen go firsthand before me. I celebrate you for your courage and strength. I celebrate that you have gone through so much but yet remain so strong to pave the way for ‘US’, for ME. I celebrate my mum, grandma,aunties and friends[insert some of your people’s names here]

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This day is important to me now and I see the significance of celebrating it today more than ever because I am no longer a little girl, I am maturing to become a woman of my OWN. I appreciate womanhood now more than ever, I take in the challenges and trials and mistakes all in stride. So… Happy Women’s Day to ME!

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I celebrate every woman who is flawed in every sense of that word but is still ‘SUPERWOMAN,’ I celebrate every woman who goes hard on the grind and still has it ‘altogether’ at the home front. I salute y’all.

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”Behind Every Successful Woman Is A Tribe Of Other Successful Women Who Have Her Back”- Anonymous.

So… HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY, To every woman who supports her fellow women[correcting, rebuking and growing together],fixing each other’s crowns instead of trying to knock the others crown off. This type of WOMAN,that type of WOMAN is most definitely MY KIND!🔥

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!

Love💜❤

JJ

RELATIONSHIPS, MARRIAGE AND FAMILY: What If Its Just Not My Reality?

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Growing up you are always told, or rather I have always been told that, go through your Primary School, High School and University studies successfully then get a well paying job. Then you know the finally stage of life is, get married if you are a lady like I am and for our men, get a girl to marry, ‘pata jiko.’ Eventually be a family man or the woman of the house. That is what society has taught us to do, or rather that’s how tradition has been over the years. But don’t look at my heading today and think that I am against marriages, NO am not. It is from my mum knowing my dad that I came into ‘being.’ The Bible in fact supports marriage, it was from Adam and Eve existing that the institution of marriage was ‘born.’ So…that simply means God himself did bless the institution of marriage then and even now. I would love love love to be in a union someday, not now though. That would make me so happy.

Genesis 1:27-28: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’ “

But you know we are in a different generation[but same God],millenials they call us. Things happen differently nowadays,not like in the old stone age period. Things have changed,people’s views on certain issues like marriage have changed too. One question I ask myself is,’What if my reality is not marriage and family as society might want me to be? What if,”THE ONE,” just never comes? Does my life end there? Well, some days am just like,you know I am still very young to think about this, but then lately I have been thinking that my future is most definitely what I prepare it to be now and that includes marriage and family. I always get so caught up with myself whenever people or my ‘girlfriends’ start talking about relationships,marriage and family because there’s always that one question that keeps running through my mind,’What if that is just not reality? I really might not be the only person who thinks that way but hey,if you are reading this and you are in the same thought process as I am. Welcome Home! Karibu nyumbani. Tuko Pamoja. We are together in this.

It’s always so fascinating and exciting to hear love stories and all those happy ending stories. It normally leads to those Awwwh moments. Btw special S/O to all my friends who are dating and are all lovey dovey,I see y’all on my What’s App status. Well…that is someone else’s but what happens if that is not my story or reality and it won’t just happen for me. Here’s what I think, life goes way beyond us chasing careers, education, relationships, marriage, families. Now don’t get me wrong, all these are important but they do not mark the beginning and the end of one’s life. Life goes way beyond all these! Let’s do a simple math together and go full throttle on what society expects of us!

Go to school, get that degree get that dream job. Meet ‘THE ONE.’ The two of you finally tie the knot and start a family together but here’s the twist, what if the union does not result to children, 2 years gone, 10 years down, 15 passes you by childless, What happens then? Does your life stop from there? This is probably the worst  blow that life will have to serve you with. It would be for anybody, even I pro’ly, but what message am I telling myself and also relaying through, that sometimes life might surprise us and that it is so OK to ask yourself the really tough, uncomfortable questions that we and society sometimes sweep under the rag. Because what happens to the woman who is expected to sire children just because she is in a union, has society thought that maybe she is barren or the man is, what happens to the woman who just wants to adopt kids and not really be in a union? Nop! Don’t act surprised because there are women like that who have chosen celibacy, and just because you have the deep desire to start a family doesn’t necessarily mean that the woman or girl next door is also in need of the same.

Now I know that there is a difference between a reality and your destiny. In the simplest terms possible; REALITY; the state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them. It includes everything that is and has been, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. A still broader definition includes that which has existed, exists, or will exist. while DESTINY;The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control. So…maybe,when we do the reality check, relationships, marriage and family is not everyone reality as sometimes we are made to think, that it is just not the reality for lots of men and women in my generation and society has ‘refused’ to ‘accept’ that bitter fill to swallow.

So you know what all these train of thoughts have led me to doing? To living my life for what it is now, to accept that the society’s, my parents’ expectations, my expectations will not necessarily be my reality. It might or not might be. And this does not necessarily apply to relationships,marriage and family but in so many areas of my life. That sometimes ‘everything’ that happens for and to ‘everyone’ might not happen to me. Before you begin throwing stones, after reading through, let me just say that I am not a jaded, bitter old maid. I am actually #TeamRelationship and Marriage, any day any time. But, in this day and age we must be able to understand that not every woman has ‘baby fever’ and an illusion of a ‘cinderella wedding’. Bitter pill to swallow. huh! It was for me too but that probably might be my reality, or someone else’s reality that I am learning to make peace with. But at the end of the day, Whatever is meant to be will be! All my ladies out there, think about it,’What if ”THE ONE” just never comes?

This writing has been inspired by Chimamanda’s Book,”We Should All Be Feminists.”

Have a love filled rest of the days.

Love,

JJ

THE WORK PLACE!

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COLOSSIANS 3:23,”Whatever you do, work at it with your heart, as working for the Lord, not for Human Masters.”

Lately, God has just been teaching me about WORK, that is what has been ringing through my mind for the past few months. Even with the whisper prayers that I do, I listen in and it’s all about just work. Maybe it’s me, I thought one night after doing my daily devotion. But at the time of writing this, the answer was and is still very much clear that I need to expose myself to WORK. So, it’s just not me but God speaking to me and I thought it wise to share it out the best way I know how, writing. Because truth is, It’s not God speaking but I am also in the kind of space, mentally, emotionally and physically preparing myself for the working space and the working environment.

2017, around August, I had the opportunity of interning at one of the main media houses. BIG Opportunity, your thinking yeah! It is a very BIG Opportunity which I am sincerely grateful for. But that was my first encounter with anything to do with, ‘The Work Place.’ And truth is the work place is a great place to be at, because then you learn to interact with people of different stature and character, sometimes the experiences are good, sometimes they are horrible to say the least. I might not be able to dispel all the facts or be able to decipher the truth from the falsehoods of the work place but what I can do for sure is to tell of my experiences[ because they are so many, so take a cup a tea,] and I am still going through the whole work experience as it, [but that is a story for another day]. When you start to experience and work with people one on one, then you probably realize that people are not as nice and sincere as they seem. It is at the work place that someone will be smiling at you but then behind your back they are busy planning the worst against with your colleagues or even with your bosses. It is at the place of work that I have learnt that people’s intentions are not always as pure as they might seem, it is at the work place that I have realized that the ‘big already existing fish’ do not have a welcoming heart toward you who is ‘new’ and trying to learn or climb your way through, it is at the work place that people will make you feel like you don’t ‘belong’, or ‘useless’. But you wanna know something, it is also at the work place that I have learnt the most patience, to take in so much, I have learnt to tap into that inner confidence even with those days when I feel like so and so looked down on me because I am ‘new’ and still learning. I have also learnt that sometimes you really need to pat yourself on the back, be gentle with yourself. But one thing that I am working on is to handle my profession for what it is- my profession. Not to dwell on the fact that I’m a woman doing the work. This approach, I have seen working for so many women in my field of work and study. I sure hope to adopt it as well.

Even with those days when you feel so overwhelmed you could barely breathe, remind yourself that, that there is always a greater force holding you together even when you think you are falling apart. Every time I feel like people are just becoming so mean at work, I refer to the verse below, it comforts in ways that even I never really quite understand.

Titus 2:7-8,”In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity,seriousness. And soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us..”

I love that I am becoming a ‘strong’ individual who is completely at a comfortable space on how to relate with people at different work places. I have learnt to stay calm and keep my cool in every sense of that word. While writing this I came across some really sound advice on what it means to be a woman in the board room,here are some of the insights I found:

TAKE A BREATH: There are a variety of ways to counter push back. If you want to be treated with respect, then be respectful and take a breath before responding. Letting your temper lead your response makes your colleagues uncomfortable because few people enjoy witnessing conflict. Letting your temper lead your response makes you look unprofessional. Your goal is to be recognized as professional. Don’t let your temper confuse your goals.

DO NOT REWARD BAD BEHAVIOUR: “Calm down” does not mean shut up. It means be methodical. If you get push back, respond. Even you shy ones! You will not get recognized if you do not assert yourself.

 • BE FACTUAL: Not sure how to respond? Is a colleague or boss raising their voice or getting agitated? Are you getting nervous? Respond with facts. It’s difficult to argue with facts. Simply restate the sequential facts leading up to your discussion. I have found that this almost immediately brings tempers down and gets everyone back to talking. This tactic can also be used to buy you some time to compose your thoughts.

 

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES: Do you want respect? Don’t fight with everyone. Seriously, not everyone needs to be put in their place. Let it go. You will be stigmatized. Pushing the envelope should be strategic and well-rehearsed before it ever happens in the workplace.

FOCUS ON SUCCESS. Ladies, competition is everywhere. Don’t be jealous of each other. Don’t be jealous of the men either. Find out what is working for the successful people in your firm or industry and focus on cracking the code. Never, ever try to raise yourself up by stepping on someone else. It’s bad business. People need to be able to trust you in power. Don’t give them a reason to hold you back. At the end of the day, the facts should be that you’re awesome — nothing else.

BE KIND: You are not only judged by how tall you stand. You are also judged by how many times you have bent over to help. A company is only as strong as its weakest link, so help everyone when you can. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt when you can. One day, you may be running that company so you should start setting the tone now.

BE PASSIONATE: Don’t fake it. Enthusiasm is contagious.

Here’s the truth: Not all men are ignorant chauvinists who are threatened by women. In my experience, many men have championed my cause, pushed me forward, promoted my work, mentored me and shown genuine enthusiasm for my success.

So don’t be the best woman in the room. Just be the best in the room.

Let us all win in our work places. Let us all work towards being the best versions of ourselves. Not to put down others. Not for the women alone but even with our men.

Have a fruitful week ahead!